Blog Burn-Out

I'm sure the world has been waiting with baited breath, wondering why I haven't blogged since December 16th.

The year 2009 for me has been all about re-examining my priorities. I've taken a break from the blog to look at where I spend my time. With each addition of my children, the time I have to myself, to do what I want to do, has been whittled down to almost nothing. So while I've been holding onto that little bit of time for dear life, I've been thinking about what I want to do with it. My conclusion? I'm only going to do things that are fulfilling to me; that bring joy to my heart.

There are so many things in my life on the "to do" list. The laundry, driving kids here and there, homework, school projects, the grocery shopping, cleaning up messes. I don't like the fact that my blog is often another item on that list: "I haven't updated my blog for x number of days, I better do that."

I think blogging has made it way too easy for people to keep up with each other without making much of an effort. Rather than calling my sister, sending her a note or even an email, I can check in on her goings-on, become a voyeur of her life, at the click of a mouse. Why bother giving her a call? I have my update. Sometimes we're too shy even to post a comment on a blog. What's up with that? The person has put themself out there, exposed themself, and we're too intimidated to see our comment in black and white?

I've also asked myself who I'm blogging for. Myself? Others? Probably both. I love the fact that I can look back 2 1/2 years and see photos of Gavin as a two year old on the beach in Monterey. I've documented things on this blog that I probably wouldn't have otherwise. That's a great gift. On the other hand, I feel like blogging has become a fad. Everyone has one and they're often superficial. A bragfest. They're a way for us to show our good side. How many people blog about the other side of life? Not many. But that's not real. I'm at a point where I want my history to be complete. That's why I'm going to continue blogging, journalling, whatever you want to call it; but I'm going to do it for myself in private.

Several years ago I read through the personal history of an ancestor. One of his decendants had printed and bound the information in his journals. I was amazed at how much this man had written but how little he'd said. Through hundreds of pages of this history, I read about what time he'd risen from bed; the chores he'd completed and even when he'd retired to bed. But I knew nothing of his feelings, his thoughts or aspirations. Really, it was the mundane stuff of daily life that he'd documented. It was disappointing to read through one of the few personal histories in my family and feel that after doing so, I knew nothing about him. I guess that's what I've thought of as I've pondered the fate of my blog. I want to spend my time documenting that which will be meaningful to myself or others down the road. So that's what I'm going to focus on for now.

P.S. Now just to decide whether joining Facebook is something that will be fulfilling or just another huge distraction?