An Image of Greatness

Tristan's ELEVEN years old today!

I can see a lot of changes coming down the pike. He's suddenly very concerned about his hairstyle, his clothes, and how he is perceived by his peers. We have an almost daily battle over his refusal to wear a coat to school. He says he's not cold but I've noticed that a lot of ther fifth grade boys are walking around in the cold without coats like idiots, too. I have a friend who used to teach fifth grade and she assures me it's all normal fifth grade behaviour (the peer awareness thing).

Tristan is the only 10-11 year old in town that I know of who wears skinny jeans. He had a meltdown when we went school shopping in the fall and I tried to buy him jeans from Old Navy or Children's Place where I've always bought them before. He insisted that he'd look like an idiot in them (I believe there were tears involved in the discussion, too). We ended up going to the teenage store in the mall where one can find skinny jeans. It's a good thing that he's a tall kid, otherwise I don't know they would've had his size.

A few weeks ago I attended Tristan's "Images of Greatness" program at school. He chose Frank Lloyd Wright as the subject of his project (more about the reasoning for that later). Anyhow, when I arrived, I walked over to where the kids were sitting, waiting for the program to begin. I thought I'd let him know that I was there and ask him if he had everything he needed. You'd have thought I'd committed a horrible crime by doing so. He gave me that look that we've all given our parents... go away, you're embarassing me. Yes, that look. Apparently, he didn't want anyone to know that he had a mother that day.

So when Tristan was trying to decide on the subject of his project, he went back and forth between Caesar Chavez (my suggestion), Gus Grissom (Dan's suggestion) and Frank Lloyd Wright. It had to be someone "gifted" who made a contribution to society. He eventually decided on Frank Lloyd Wright because he knew that I'd read a biography about him and he'd heard about some of the tragedies that befell him. That's another thing I've learned about 10-11 year old boys: they're intrigued by violence, tragedies, and the like. **On a sidenote... guess who was just made Cubmaster? I guess I'll be learning a whole lot more about boys =)

Back to Tristan... I have to mention the hair. I had no idea that boys were so concerned about their hair! We've had a couple other melt downs in recent months over my insistance that the boy have his hair cut. I'm talking crying and knashing of teeth in the car on the way to the place. Fortunately, we've found some great stylists who've been able to leave the length of his hair long while cleaning it up along the neckline and thinning it out. He goes through a whole ritual in the morning when he's getting ready. It involves "man" shampoo and combing it all forward. It's not my favorite look on him but Dan and I both agree there are more important things to battle over than hair.

Tristan is a character and definitely his own person, but we love him all the same. I've learned a great deal over the last eleven years, a LOT. One of the most important lessons Tristan has taught me is that we each come here blessed with our own set of gifts. As his mom I know that it's my job to accept him, help him recognize those gifts and hone them so that he can fulfill the purpose he was sent here for. There was a time that I wanted to change him. I wanted to make him more manageable, more compliant, less difficult. I'm glad that I learned that lesson early because he's an amazing kid. He has so many gifts. I know that he's destined to be something great.

Bon Anniversaire, mon fils!